


Just Give Me a Chance

by northerndownpourr



Category: Panic! at the Disco
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-12
Updated: 2015-06-13
Packaged: 2018-04-04 01:52:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4121776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/northerndownpourr/pseuds/northerndownpourr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Brendon realizes his feelings for Ryan and they begin to try to figure out what, and if anything they feel for each other, while navigating a tour and the press (who may or may not catch them, among other hijinks.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Looks

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not entirely sure where I'm going with this but I'm gonna try it. Comment if you have any suggestions!- Allie

Ryan was sitting there, smoking a cigarette. Just sitting on the steps of the bus with a look with a look of perplexity, and like he was thinking something bigger than the two of us, or the four of us really. He always was like that, deep and brooding. I stared at his black choppy hair, and his familiar eyes as he stepped on to the bus after putting out the cigarette with his foot.

“I love you Ryan.” I don’t know what happened, I just blurted it out, I don’t even know if I meant it. 

“I know, the way you look at me, the way your eyes light up when we’re in a room together, I know.” He said, sitting on the soft vinyl bench by the table on the tour bus. 

“You...you...know, I didn’t even think I knew.” I whispered quietly, pouring us both a whisky, cut with nothing, just whisky because that is what this situation called for. 

“I could tell about two months ago, I’m attracted to you too, Brendon.” Ryan downed his in one gulp. 

Attracted wasn’t love, but it let me know I had a shot. Spencer and Jon were out to eat with their girlfriends, and it was just us left on the bus, somewhere in the middle of Ohio. Bumfuck Ohio. 

“Kiss me, I want to see if there is anything there.” Ryan had set down the plastic cup I used for the whisky (classy,I know.) 

“Ohhhhhh…..kayyyy…..” I said, scooching closer, grabbing his shoulders and leaning towards his lips. I carefully moved them in between his and nibbled on his bottom lip before pulling away. 

“Don’t stop, I felt something.” Ryan ran his fingers through my hair and rolled on top of me on the bench.

I kissed him, harder and faster, almost biting in him. In fact, I did bite him. I had sucked on his neck before I flipped our positions and I was on top of him. He pulled off his shirt, and whispered “Let’s take this to the bunk.” His voice was hot and heavy, panting and breathy. 

“Ok.” We walked to my bunk which was on the top above Ryan’s. I got on top of Ryan, and started blowing him. 

“Brendon, you are so good, oh my god oh my god!” Ryan was a screamer, as it hit my face. 

Laying there, I started to rub his naked chest and said “So will you give me a chance?” 

“For that sex, I’d do anything.”


	2. Notes

Ryan had moved down to his bunk before everyone else came back, my hand was dangling down where his hand could reach up and touch it. We didn’t very often but it was nice to know he was only a drop away. We didn’t really say anything after earlier, he ate a piece chicken we stole from last night’s show and I had another bourbon. It was like nothing had ever happened, because I guess to him it hadn’t. He was just testing the waters, where I had done a swan dive in. 

“Ryan, do you really think there is a chance?” I said to him, my voice starting to sound sleepy.

“Well there is always a chance of anything, Brendon. That’s how life works, but if you're asking if there’s a chance for us to be something, I would say yes. The lights shine bright on the stage right, when you’re up there singing, correct? Well those lights dim at the end of the show, and you’re left with only yourself, and that’s what we have to think about. Is what we’re left with compatible? Can it work with the lights dim? Or only with the lights bright? We just have to dim the lights and try to see how we work. But I will always be your friend, no matter how this plays out.” We reached our hands together, Ryan always answered a question with a long, winding deep answer. 

“I think you are correct, I also think you need to learn how to answer things without sounding like a pretentious asshole.” I laughed and looked down at him he was blushing. 

“You are correct, my dear. And of course I said dear, Ironically dear.” He laughed and we started to go to sleep. 

I woke up to the bus moving and Spencer and Jon asleep in their bunks across the aisle. I stepped out of my bunk and looked at Ryan. A piece of paper had fallen out of his bunk, I knew I shouldn’t look at it but I did. 

Something is telling me I should go for this, he was the first person I felt anything with, any connection, in my entire life when we met. But I never thought I’d take it so far. I think I love him, I’m just not sure in what way. He’s so beautiful when he sleeps, his mouth exhaling slow breaths between incoherent mumbles. 

Suddenly Ryan sat up, and rubbed his eyes. “What are you doing Brendon, that’s mine.” 

“I was reading it, I’m sorry, I found it on the floor and didn’t know what it was. I’m sorry.” I said, thinking I had ruined everything.

“I set it there knowing you would read it. I just couldn’t say those things out loud. You are at at the top of my lungs.” He leaned over and grabbed my hand.


End file.
